Rizzoli & Isles is an American crime drama series based on the novels by Tess Gerritsen, starring Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander as the respective title characters. Eventually I broke down, had a hard time with it, and she dumped me. Call/text/in person, etc.? In my circle of friends, I am the cook, I know what it feels like. Is it okay for a boyfriend or girlfriend to go out to bars or clubs without you twice a week? And I have to laugh at that "allowed to go out without your boyfriend" line you posted.sounds like that fellow wouldn't have been good boyfriend material, even if you had been single! That's a different matter. I've seen a lot of posts on here recently about whether its ok for a married or committed person to go to lunch/bar with single person of the opposite sex (or same gender depending on preference) and it had M. wondering if you guys/girls ever go to a bar or an establishment where other singles are and talk to new people? HOWEVERI think you don't have much to worry about. I wouldn't want to tempt her or her M.. Good relationships are too hard to come by and I wouldn't want to jepordize one. I see nothing wrong with your scenarioI J. wouldn't venture into a bar alone. A group of people going out, no problem. Emotional or physical affairs are not okay in my book. You know the one that is filled with mostly guys, laid back and where everyone knows everyone and if you don't you will by the time you walk out and people cheer when you walk in the door? Price: $18. Just enjoy life and enjoy the relationship, take it day by day and go with the flow. Do I think it's "wrong" for other ladies and men to do that? I've lived in my little city since I was a teenager and I run into people EVERYwhere, so when I meet a friend I prefer a private location where I am better able to focus on them and our conversation. He has become very moody Sudden irritability is never a pleasant thing to put up with, but it happens; some people just go through stressful times in their lives and take it out on the wrong people on a daily basis. The good thing about that is when he turns M. on or says sexy things to M., I don't have to turn him down and I get to go home with him! Bars are not not my scene. ahhh thats the one=) I haven't been there since January so it was a nice change. So I asked him and he said the girl bit him. I occasionally go to after work happy hour with a big group of co-workers. and yea i dont agree with how much he is going out and getting drunk. I want to flirt, touch and pay lots of attention to him. He would probably be pretty darn red too. I would not judge, unless it was something a man or woman was doing to pick up one night stands.. Do you really want a boyfriend who drinks heavily till he passes out? Here's the thing he knows you are uncomfortable with it, doesn't push it with you, and you still gave him the green light. jwrunner81 https://www.mamapedia.com/article/question-for-married-women-only, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/my-hubby-do-not-let-me-go-out-when-i-wanna-have-a-girl-night-outwhy, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/poll-on-men-and-frienships-w-women, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/can-guys-just-be-friends-with-girls-updated, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/can-men-and-women-be-friends-2673, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/discussion-dash-having-single-friends-when-married, https://www.mamapedia.com/article/opinions-on-having-guy-friends. Now I am talking about a friend that I talk on the phone to and interact regularly with. I like how you worded it. So would this be not allowed in your relationship? I always get the excuse of the phone dying or it fell but yet I can see he is online on Facebook etc it's always the weekend that his battery has died when he's out I don't blame you for stressing I have this situation every weekend it's at the point where I've had enough. My bf WAS texting me from the bar, but that has tapered off. I don't understand why everyone flipped out about single people going out together. J. my personal opinionto each his own. i dont really know how to feel about this. So I'm thinking all of you ladies would think I was bad. My husband works at a bar on the weekends. Each family and marriage/relationship should be striving to find its own balance which has its foundations resting upon fundamentals such as love, trust, hard word and communication. What scares me is my jealousy. Make out you are. if its a guys night out and its like 10 buddys sure, if hes going by himself, somethings a foot.Going out with your buddys is homosocial behavior, A typical of men. Do what you feel is right. When youre in a relationship, only YOU know the rules that you have. Feeling down or depressed is a common experience for many people at some point in their lives. I'm literally going through the exact situation. He aint changing especially if you arent there. Most importantly, he calls you when he gets home. I don't look down upon or judge others for hanging out with those of the opposite sex. I am one of those guys who doesn't drink often so when I do I also end up on a couch somewhere but I have good friends who protect me .won't let me drive etc.. Help should I stay with him or not and it has been four long years that we have been together. As for what anyone else thought, it was irrelevant. J. my opinion but it isn't for us. Sure, you're at home Jonesn' about it, but that's ok you'll make it through, and he'll appreciate it. You can't get mad at him for spending time with his friends, just like he doesn't have the right to get mad at you for hanging out with your friends in return. But there's obviously cases where the spouse is comfortable with the environment like you described J. M. so I don't see an issue. It seems like you really enjoy the attention so maybe your current relationship isn't up to par? And I kinda think your J. as likely to get picked up having a coffee at starbucks. Anyone that cant handle that isnt ready for a real relationship. I hug everyone and usually kiss them on the cheek.. no matter the gender. A "spouse" is an adult. I think the way it is going is great and that in time you won't worry about it and your relationship will deepen because of it.. The whole idea that you never go without each other to parties is quite frankly absurd. If you agreed on something whether it be notifying the other about what youre doing or where you are going, if you decide you dont feel like that is the right thing for you two anymore then a conversation should take place. How do I know, bad breakup. yes i need a kick in the butt tonight! To an insecure girlfriend, she might assume guys' nights consist of heading to the strip club, then going to a seedy rub-and-tug afterward. They threaten to break up with you all the time. They have these piano bars here and my hubby and i went oncebut was not something we said, "HEY, lets go again !" I do what I CHOOSE to do. I have also felt the "most women are bisexual" opinion to be not true in my circles. 05-17-2012, 01:53 PM steve1282 : Location: Dallas. We have a very stable relationship and have known each other for over 20 years even though we have only been married for almost 3 years. Are you his parole officer or his girlfriend? That I trust him to hang out means he can trust that if I say she give M. a bad vibe it isn't because she is pretty, or anything, it is J. something is off. If your boyfriend is going out without you, it doesn't necessarily mean he's trying to end things. Being married does not mean you are a Monk or not a part of the world. We recently got married and he got divorced two years and a half ago. People go to bars..why? I think this can be a real issue for quite a few people and can be very problematic adjusting or coming to grips with, even though there is no reason not to trust. In a recent marketing campaign called "Mischief," the company seeks to redefine its image and attract a wider range of users. If everyone is happy and fully informed, then well done and furthermore none of my business. Did I go to local bars and hang out and have all the fun you mentioned above when I was single? But, that's not the point of your post so I digress. We don't forbid each other from seeing anyone. You still have freedom. SO he was not to be trusted. Also, you've officially met a women who has no attraction whatsoever to other women!! My husband and I both worked at bars, so we're very secure with our marriage.. Night after Friday night, he'd ask about my week, make jokes with me during lulls in the bar rush, and never charge me for my vodka buzz. That's why I wouldn't go out to a bar without my SO. CinnamonRoll "There's nothing wrong with getting drinks with coworkers or going out for a guys/girls night with friends," Herring says. I on the other hand don't know a single woman who is attracted to other women. Im in a long distance relationship myself, like we're in two different continents, it kind of ***** but its cool at the same time! my boyfriend and i are long distance and i'm in college. You know when you are dating someone who cares and you know when you are dating a player. to M. if there is an air of "i am free, i do what i want, hey you're interesting, i'll talk to you!" I've never been into the bar scenebut my fiancee doesn't get upset if I want some "M." time. He is free to go where he wants and so am I but we make choices to do and go places that honor our marriage and protect it at all costs. Did you find this post helpful? Not all of your friends or theirs will definitely be in relationships at the same time, so it's not necessarily a red flag if they plan dinner out with one of their single friends, but if hanging out with their single friends without you starts taking priority over spending time with you, that might mean that something is wrong. I can tell you as a man, that he appreciates that, it shows trust, it shows that you are trying to grow in the relationship, and it shows that you love and care that he take time for himself. Ziff Davis, LLC BBB Business Review. I never expected much because I knew the type of person I was dating. It's one thing for your girlfriend to go partying without you and another for her to go without even informing you. To M., that is playing with fire. Nothing controlling about it. Naturally, the latter should raise more eyebrows. As I mentioned above, he may just need some time to himself. I operate on the fact that it is a habitual and disrespectful ploy to hide a double lifestyle. But understand that it is an opportunity for something to happen because you are specifically putting yourself in that situation. It is trying to control each other because deep down you don't trust each other to behave in a party environment. If he was the type of person that wanted to hang out in bars and set that example for his child, I wouldn't have even bothered with dating him. The premiere was later recognized as the all-time most successful cable series launch, with DVR viewers the . I can honestly say that I never knew women were generally attracted to other women. No brainer. I was 20, she was 21, and I couldn't hit the bars with her. I tell it like it is. And of course, a person of normal mentality, does place their relationship or marriage, first. But he lets M. dance with who ever when we go out J. so he doesn't have to get out on the floor. Lets see how many times I can add to this. and remind him that you both can talk about anything! Even I have had experience with these and I can tell you how inappropriate it is to not hear from your boyfriend. Did he actually love me? He better go alone, because I won't be wasting my time in a place like that. I don't visit bars very often. blissfulblue That's right. Rather than saying, "My girlfriend wants to go out alone with her friends," and feeling like you're losing her, work on deepening the attraction, love and respect that she feels for you. Started January 19, By Seriously . ? If not, he'll just call you the next morning and explain his night.. you know? I called him at 11:30. So no, we don't go to bars and not J. because we don't drink but we also don't go to strip places either and we definitely limit the amount of contact we have alone with the opposite sex. We are all the product of our experiences. If you have an open relationship that should be discussed . I go out with my girlfriends, usually a dinner and drinks at the local dining place. But when I'm home, I'm usually out with himbecause I miss him! Whether he is hooking up with another girl or not, I'd question why he would be drunk often. So I dont think there would be problems. in the situation you describe it doesn't sound like your relationship with your bf is that serious, you're not married and you don't call him a fiance. Its J. not something we do. Usually the other one is watching the kids. Ahhhh, the Casino has a hold on him. My boyfriend goes out, spends time with his friends, and drinks on the weekends. Covering Phoenix, Mesa, Glendale, Scottsdale, Gilbert, the valley . She doesnt mean ask permission. You get worried when you see your partner with someone else. Here are 3 ways to not be jealous when your boyfriend goes out. what if that guy made the relationship that way and all of a sudden wants to change the game.Vice versa? You could talk to him about what he wants and what you want, and reach an agreement together. Hafta to do it at home I guess. It was a relief not going anymore. By the time my husband and I got married, we were so done with bars/clubs/discos (this was the 80's). So back to your question. I have seen some of the married women that do. Method 2 Keeping Yourself Occupied 1 Organize a night out with your own friends. I know what it's like to love someone but know they aren't good for you. Short answer: yes, it's okay. If you talk with your boyfriend about how you feel, maybe he can assuage your fears. My boyfriend does this most weekends but worse promises to make plans with me then chooses to go out drinking instead turns off his phone or ignores me and stays out all weekend then comes running back always with excuses we spoke about this several times about how it upsets me to be waiting for him and then I hear nothing until the next day or 3 days later he doesn't even tell me half the time he is cancelling on me I don't even know where he is half the time so if it gets to that stage you are in trouble it is emotional torture. Plus it's annoying for the fellas to have that one guy who's always checking in. I'm married. What I'd really prefer though is to go out with a few drinks with HIM! I let my college girlfriend go out with the girls. S.H I agree completely. When you do that, she will want to stay home with you because she'll be afraid of losing you. 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